Small things we forget

Yesterday I saw the final two episodes of Young Sheldon.

As a matter of fact, those of you who would have seen Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, know everything about Sheldon Cooper. How he is an excellent scientist, has an amazing brain, how he won Nobel prize, but on the other side how he sadly lacks emotion and the small things that make us human.

All of us know that Sheldon would have the biggest ego in this world and he is a freak when it comes to being a human :) 

Writing the last part made me think, what are the small things that make us human?

Is the great achievements we have in our life is what that determines as human. 

For some, it may define us as a human.

At times, we confused our achievements with the ego. The truth is at times, we don't even realise that the ego is lying to us when we forget the big picture and get into small unnecessary detailing on what, how and why of the story of life. Also the issue here is that our ego guides the brain to tell the story from it's own perspective, thinking about the Villain-victim mentality and sharing with others.

Please check this blogpost to get into insights- 

• Need of villain in life
• Difference between big ego and strong ego

One more thing which I forgot to mention in this blog post is that due to the victim mind set, we need a constant need to validate our thought process with others. Now mode of validations could be sharing the thought with a friend / partner.  The problem again would be that the story being shared would be portraying the protagonist as a victim and sadly the partner who is listening in such a case without any fault of thier will add some ideas based on their understanding of this half cooked story will do either of the following -

1. support the thought process and share this should not have been done, blah-blah-blah, this is not right blah-blah-blah, this should not be allowed, blah-blah-blah :) 

2. a very few have courage to question the thought process itself and help making the informed judgements and be truthful. 

But the truth is very few take #2 approach and their are various reasons for this. I believe this deserves another blog post on this topic separately.

Again coming back to topic of what making us human. 

Is it the family and friends surrounding us making us human? Their good memory and making a story of this which could not be forgotten (erasing some mixed feelings and be a better and matured person.)

Is it the compassion and how we could bring happiness in life of others.

There can be many more perspectives to it. 

In summary, there is no one perfect aspect defining us as a human.

Coming back to main topic on Young Sheldon, in the last two episodes we saw the departure of George Cooper Sr. It touched each of the friends and family in different ways. One of the interesting aspect was how Sheldon thought about changing the last time he met his father. He never cared to put any attention to anything else apart from his own ego and thought process. But when his father was gone, he realised all the small things he forgot and how he could have changed those. 

But sadly life hardly gives us a second chance and once something is lost, it's lost.

One more interesting storyline was how he got baptised against all his preconceived norms about science, religion and life, just to give courage to his mother, Mary Cooper :)  

The truth is life is imperfect and so are people around us. 

No one is a perfect human being with everyone having few good elements and few bad. What makes us human is the imperfectness and still doing the good things.

So the need of the hour is simply to cherish those small events, make some good memories for others and move on if something is imperfect. 

We forget the small things and that also makes us an imperfect human being. 

Next time you forget a small thing that might matter for someone else, just ensure that we could make an attempt to course correct this :) 

Need of a villain in life

Read this blog on medium.com and found to be very much true. Hence sharing it here.

Everyone has a story in their life. At the centre of each of our stories is us. 

We are the protagonist traveling through life, living from a first-person perspective.

Very often our stories have high points and they have low points. And they have other characters as well. Allies, lovers, teachers, family and many more.

This past year of my life, I have realised how significant the stories we tell ourselves are, and how they can guide our sense of happiness and direction in life, or they can lead us into a prison of doubt and frustration.

On our path in life, whether we like it or not, we are going to bump into people who are going to affect us. Sometimes in a positive way, and sometimes in a negative way. These negative experiences with people can cause us to be thrown off course, and often that makes us feel unhappy.

As storytellers, what we often do is label these people as Villains.

The Villains in our life become the reason things didn’t work out for us, or the reason why we aren’t able to move forward. We see them as evil, mean-spirited and cruel. We get self-righteous and angry about what they did or said to us. Sometimes, we can even start to believe these Villains did these things deliberately to spite us.

The truth, however is that these people aren’t Villains. They aren’t doing things to hurt us, they are just doing what they want with their life. They have their own agenda, and they are following it for their own reasons.

During the past year, I had noticed how I had started to build up some stories about people in my life who I felt had ‘done me wrong’ and caused me to be held back. The truth was that these were just stories I was making up.

I was making them into Villains so that I could make myself into a Victim.

One day I sat down and wrote a list of all the people in my life who I felt were Villains. I looked at the situations with fresh eyes and asked myself:

What is the story that led me to see this person as a Villain?

What could be their agenda or reason for doing what they did?

And then came the most difficult question:

What am I getting out of thinking that they are a Villain?

When I looked at it objectively, the truth was that I was making them a Villain, so that I could be a Victim.

Ouch.

The truth was that these people weren’t bad people, they just had different agendas than I did and were following them. That had nothing to do with me, yet I was using the story I’d created to make them into Villains.

You see, whenever you make yourself a Victim you get a secret payoff:

– You get to complain

— You get to make excuses

— You get to feel righteous

— You get sympathy and attention from others

Yet, at the same time, you lose your power. Instead of being an empowered protagonist in your life story, you become a powerless victim. You give your power to the past and to people who probably didn’t even mean to hurt you anyhow.

(Side note: I realize this can sometimes be a tough pill to swallow. I know at times people do very hurtful things and all I can say here is that ‘hurt people hurt people’. If someone truly hurt you intentionally, realize that they are deeply hurt themselves. This is will be explored in a future blog.)

Generally speaking, whenever you feel that someone has wronged you, if you keep holding onto this story, you make them a Villain. And once you have a Villain in your story, you become a Victim.

One of the most interesting things I’ve noticed about people who are successful in life is that they don’t have any Villains in their life. They do have setbacks and people who cause them problems, but they don’t make them into Villains. And for this reason, they are always empowered to rise again and make themselves more successful.

Human beings love to tell stories, especially their own stories.

When you tell yours, make sure to realize that there is no such thing as a Villain, and that you are a hero who can rise.

Time flies ...

Yesterday had a conversation with an old friend.
I realized that couple of things have changed over past through days but still we are the same altogether. Coming back to blog is always good and it's being a tad too much that I didn't write.

Time does changes every now and then.
It brings all the vital changes required for our well being. But having a control over it is a something that is beyond a common man.

Saw an old classic Time-Machine. Many guys  wouldn't like it but it has a very basic fact that time can change everything. As a person we don't change, may be we adjust our self with place, time and situation, but the fundamental selves remain the same.

Keep it simple is the new mantra.....
Everyone will get what they deserve.......

That's what life is all about.
Just stay with it, cheer it, nourish it and we would realise life is just too beautiful :) 

Tom and Jerry

Once upon a time, there was a guy.

His name was Tom, he was unique of his kind.

 He was in mid-30’s, was 6 feet tall,

With some amount of luck, always on his side.

Tom was good at his work,

His voice was low, his mind was sound.

He was a passionate man, who was equally confused at times.

He always think, how unexpectedly things change,

Can’t there be a key, to start and stop things to the way they are shaping.

Good that he had Jerry in his life,

Time changed, both moved on.

Many things remained unsaid with a mutual agreement,

That things will shape up the way they are planned.

He got a random thought,

“If I died, if there will be someone who would actually cry”.

Who would be glad and who would rejoice?

He was disturbed at the thought,

Wanted to appease his disturbed mind.

Suddenly he switched to electronic gadgets,

Which have been a crucial part of his life.

The friends count on FaceBook showed the count to be 1001,

But then he figured out how many of them actually do walk and 

Switching to TV either didn’t help,

The same old soap, the same old stuff,

All never ending stuff carrying at their own soporific pace.

At this crucial time, Jerry came and read Tom’s disturbed mind.

She smiled at Tom and the panacea effect worked for the cause.

Mind reading worked and the unsaid essense remained intact,

Life is great and it is time to celebrate.

  

Sometimes….

Hey dear sometimes I want to say a lot

And sometimes I feel I have no words

Expressing my feelings to you sometimes becomes difficult

Sometimes I feel you understand me well..

Understanding your unsaid words gives me pleasure

Caring for you has become essential part of my Life

I don’t know when I started loving you so much

But today I can’t imagine my Life without you

You say such words that I feel so complete at times

I never knew someone could ever Love me like the way you do

I just wanna say I don’t want anything else

I just want you, you and you..

I think of you everytime I fantasize our conversations..

I smile..I blush…this feeling sometimes makes me crazy..

I don’t know how someone can become so important to me

In a short span of time..

But it is well said that sometimes it takes too long to Love someone

And sometimes it is just a blink of eye..

I feel so secure with you at times

I believe I was waiting for you for all these years

I wish to thank God for giving me my true soul mate

Love u to the extent that I can’t express it !!!! Sometimes..

For my Love…